I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
