ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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