He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drake has all the answers
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize