How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
