Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize