well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's blow job season.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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