So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
