So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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