yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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