I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
