Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
