Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
