garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
