Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
