We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Houston, we have a squirter
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
