My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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