Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
