how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
