you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
