Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Rumble strips road head = magical
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
