You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
