you're like a bully in the Christmas story
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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