I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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