We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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