is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
