i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
