dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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