If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
