We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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