Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
