Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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