You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
