I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
