i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
