i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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