There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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