no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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