Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize