i just wanna soil my oats bro
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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