my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize