is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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