So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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