is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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