listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
