Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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