would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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