Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
