yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
