Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
