i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
