Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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