no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Found your dick twin last night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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