Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
