Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
