I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
