her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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