I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
