I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
